The End and Back Again

MORPHEUS: I imagine that right now, you're feeling a bit like Alice, hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?

NEO: ...You could say that.

So here I am completely at the end of my rope, rock bottom. I just decided to keep digging and digging and digging.

What exactly am I looking for? I dunno. Don't ask.

As I lie here, back to the end of the world, I wonder. You ever just do that? You don't really wonder what, or why or how, or anything. Just...why...like an eternal question that you just look and have that feeling. Not necessarily about what the meaning is of life, the universe, and everything. Not necessarily who you are. Just...what. There is nothing to describe it unless you've done it.

I read through some Torah. It's strictly law. Just rules and commandments, but no real motivation to do them. Then in some stuff from Pali, I just didn't get the same feel. I thought a lot of the stuff was very good...but it just doesn't taste right. Then I moved on to some Gospels.

That's what feels real right now, but I don't know what to do to make it real.

"I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real? Or not?"