In the Twilight
As with the Lamanite people of ancient Mesoamerica, I had been born again and I knew it not. I had been born of God that June night of 2002 at EFY in Helaman Halls, BYU.
Thinking back to that summer of 2002, my heart starts to soar with some kind of echoed excitement. I get swept in a wave of nostalgia. I can still feel the heat on my face from those days. I can taste the pine tree taste in the air outside Helaman Halls. I can still hear the songs from the Spider-Man soundtrack my dad had just bought me that would get stuck in my head.
I’ve forgotten some details of my week at EFY, but I’ll never forget that one night. EFY, or Especially For Youth, is an LDS program for youth ages 14-18. It’s almost like a spiritual summer camp. You stay in the dorms of the college you’re staying at. You have devotionals, lessons, and scripture studies, as well as social events like dances and talent shows. EFY is held at locations all across the globe (there’s even an outdoor EFY called Adventures for Youth, which I hear is funner than EFY). The EFY program at the Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, is by far the most popular one. Rooms for the dorms sell out in less than a week almost every year.
EFY was extremely expensive for my financial situation in 2002, so it is clear that it was by the grace of the Lord that I attended at all. I was only 14, and the name of the program that year was “We Believe”—which had a special emphasis on the Restoration period of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as well as the first prophet and president, Joseph Smith.
I guess it’s fair to say that I didn’t have a very strong testimony when I was 14. I mean, I wasn’t doubtful or anything. I just wasn’t very strong in the gospel. Like many Mormon teens today as well as back then, I developed this kind of “Okay, so it’s true—who cares?” attitude. This mentality is very strong in the minds of youth that have been raised in the Church, and it’s especially prevailent among the youth that are raised in the Church in Utah. And even more so in Utah Valley. My attitude was more or less influenced by these factors, as well as the fact that I was still struggling with my dark side. The Hauntings didn’t exist in this time period.
[Interestingly enough, my friend Eric—who I mention in “Blue and Yellow”—was supposed to come with me and bunk in my room (you get the option of choosing your own roommate when you register for EFY). But at the last second, he couldn’t make it to EFY that year. So I walked into the dorms I was staying in, called Helaman Halls, shy and weary of who my roommate would be. Turns out that the other guy—who had my same same—never showed up. And this was both good and bad.]
All through the week, I was having a pretty good time—up until Wednesday afternoon, when I allowed my darkness to take over me while in that lonely room in Helaman Halls. I felt so disgraceful and ashamed, and thought of myself as a failure. I almost wanted to run away home, and couldn’t wait for the week to end.
My dorm group’s counselor, Quinn, had told us at the beginning of the week that Thursday was going to be the most spiritual day of EFY. So I woke up on Thursday morning hoping that today something spiritual would happen to me to somehow make me a better person. Looking back, I’m not quite sure what I was expecting. I just wanted something to happen…anything.
The day was almost uneventful. We did have to wear formal dress the entire day. I can remember attending a lesson on how to be a missionary that was for the guys only. Then there was some kind of activity at noon, which followed until the evening. I can remember that during the evening, my group (made up of nine guys and around twice as many girls) had it’s own special testimony meeting before heading back to Helaman Halls. Then the guys had our own devotional. We walked into a commons area that was also a balcony for the Halls.
I can remember that Quinn said something…he said something to the effect of, “If your hearts are open, you’ll have a cool experience tonight.” So I opened my heart.
Thinking back to that summer of 2002, my heart starts to soar with some kind of echoed excitement. I get swept in a wave of nostalgia. I can still feel the heat on my face from those days. I can taste the pine tree taste in the air outside Helaman Halls. I can still hear the songs from the Spider-Man soundtrack my dad had just bought me that would get stuck in my head.
I’ve forgotten some details of my week at EFY, but I’ll never forget that one night. EFY, or Especially For Youth, is an LDS program for youth ages 14-18. It’s almost like a spiritual summer camp. You stay in the dorms of the college you’re staying at. You have devotionals, lessons, and scripture studies, as well as social events like dances and talent shows. EFY is held at locations all across the globe (there’s even an outdoor EFY called Adventures for Youth, which I hear is funner than EFY). The EFY program at the Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, is by far the most popular one. Rooms for the dorms sell out in less than a week almost every year.
EFY was extremely expensive for my financial situation in 2002, so it is clear that it was by the grace of the Lord that I attended at all. I was only 14, and the name of the program that year was “We Believe”—which had a special emphasis on the Restoration period of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as well as the first prophet and president, Joseph Smith.
I guess it’s fair to say that I didn’t have a very strong testimony when I was 14. I mean, I wasn’t doubtful or anything. I just wasn’t very strong in the gospel. Like many Mormon teens today as well as back then, I developed this kind of “Okay, so it’s true—who cares?” attitude. This mentality is very strong in the minds of youth that have been raised in the Church, and it’s especially prevailent among the youth that are raised in the Church in Utah. And even more so in Utah Valley. My attitude was more or less influenced by these factors, as well as the fact that I was still struggling with my dark side. The Hauntings didn’t exist in this time period.
[Interestingly enough, my friend Eric—who I mention in “Blue and Yellow”—was supposed to come with me and bunk in my room (you get the option of choosing your own roommate when you register for EFY). But at the last second, he couldn’t make it to EFY that year. So I walked into the dorms I was staying in, called Helaman Halls, shy and weary of who my roommate would be. Turns out that the other guy—who had my same same—never showed up. And this was both good and bad.]
All through the week, I was having a pretty good time—up until Wednesday afternoon, when I allowed my darkness to take over me while in that lonely room in Helaman Halls. I felt so disgraceful and ashamed, and thought of myself as a failure. I almost wanted to run away home, and couldn’t wait for the week to end.
My dorm group’s counselor, Quinn, had told us at the beginning of the week that Thursday was going to be the most spiritual day of EFY. So I woke up on Thursday morning hoping that today something spiritual would happen to me to somehow make me a better person. Looking back, I’m not quite sure what I was expecting. I just wanted something to happen…anything.
The day was almost uneventful. We did have to wear formal dress the entire day. I can remember attending a lesson on how to be a missionary that was for the guys only. Then there was some kind of activity at noon, which followed until the evening. I can remember that during the evening, my group (made up of nine guys and around twice as many girls) had it’s own special testimony meeting before heading back to Helaman Halls. Then the guys had our own devotional. We walked into a commons area that was also a balcony for the Halls.
I can remember that Quinn said something…he said something to the effect of, “If your hearts are open, you’ll have a cool experience tonight.” So I opened my heart.
posted by Alexander at 2:33 AM
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