Revelations
In August 2004, I was taking a summer session of Driver’s Ed at my high school, Orem High. I would sometimes visit a teacher at Orem High’s LDS seminary institute after classes. One day when I went for a visit, they were in the middle of a prep meeting, so I went into a separate room to wait.
While I was in the room, I decided to start praying. I gave one of the hardest prayers I’ve ever prayed. I told my Heavenly Father that all I wanted, with all my heart, was to become sanctified/born again, receive a mighty change/a baptism of fire/the gift of the Holy Ghost. I told Him that if He would but show me the way, and tell me how to do it, then I’d do it. I’d walk through fire if it was necessary. I would give anything—even myself. My sins, my life…anything.
Now, it’s basic gospel in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that God speaks to men on the earth today. There is a true prophet of God who receives revelation on behalf of the church. But every child of God is entitled to receive personal revelation from God as well. All they have to do is knock. He answers His children and reveals light unto them in their own way of learning and their own understanding.
Heavenly Father—in His infinite love and patience—knows that I am a slow learner, and sometimes require visual aids. My forms of personal revelation are dreams, physical symbols/signs, and (most frequently) a whisper. A whisper that is as clear-sounding and deep-resonating as a bell. Usually it’s a whispered voice accompanied by either a dream or a sign.
For this particular revelation, God gave me instruction: first as a whisper, then as a symbol (which He prepared in the heavens beforehand, since He knew how I would take it). As I was asking Him to please reveal to me what I should do in order to have my desire granted, I heard a voice (which I’ve become accustomed to hearing) say, “Go to the temple. Offer up unto me a sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit in the temple.”
As I said before, I’m a little slow. So I didn’t really get this at first, blunt and simple as it was. I thought that it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Because I knew that in order to go to a temple, you’ve got to be pure—clean hands and a pure heart. At this time period, I was still very much an angel of the dark and a creature of the night. My hands were filthy.
I got up and wandered the room, the impression still coming. ”Offer up a sacrifice…in the temple…” It was so strong, and I didn’t believe it was really a revelation. (I guess that looking back on it now I realize I might have thought that to become worthy to go to a temple was impossible for someone as lowly as me. I was doubtful, lazy, and afraid. But God knew that already…)
I wandered to the window and casually gazed out the window. But quickly I realized what was going on, and I couldn’t believe it. I testify to the reader that this is not exaggerated, but real—almost too incredible to be false.
Orem City rests under the shadow of a rather large mountain, called Mount Timpanogos. At this time, Timpanogos was surrounded on it’s sides by some clouds, but otherwise the sky was remotely clear.
There was a cloud approaching the face of the mount. (Again, no exaggeration…I should have taken a picture, I swear…) The cloud was shaped exactly like a kneeling human figure. The human’s arms were raised above its head, and the head bowed reverently and humbly. The closer I looked, the more I realized that the lumpish cloud the human figure was holding towards Mount Timpanogos…was a heart.
A renewed burst of spiritual flow came with the assurance that this was a real revelation and personal instruction: Go to the temple and offer up a sacrifice…go to the temple…a sacrifice…go to the temple….
Almost as if the symbolic message I had recieved was the cloud figure’s sole purpose and fate, the figure promptly dismantled into a mesh of cloud that overtook Timpanogos. And I knew without a doubt, that this was my task and quest. My commandment from God was to go to His holy temple.
And He had even told me which one: there’s a temple in Spanish Fork—the Mount Timpanogos Temple. While there is a temple in Orem’s next door neighbor, Provo, the Mount Timpanogos Temple was my personal favorite. And…little did I know…that temple would be the best one for certain events to transpire.
Well, between September 2004 and April 2005 was the hardest battle I had ever fought. And I proclaim with love for my Heavenly Father that I have conquered in Him and His Son, Jesus Christ. Because of His grace and mercy, he “hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning. (Book of Mormon)” More will detail this time period in a later post.
On April 30th, I entered a temple of the Lord—in a mountain—to offer up a sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. It was in the House of God that the Spirit revealed to my heart that I had received a remission of my sins. It was there also that I received the impression that I had already received that which I sought—the gift of the Holy Ghost.
I went home overcome with gratitude, and overcome with this immense feeling of freedom, security, and absolute peace. That was my favorite feeling of all: peace. I hadn't felt so free in all my life, or so much peace. Indeed, after ten years or so of darkness and bondage, I was rescued and now free, brought into light. I praised loudly in my heart, "Free at last! Free at last!! Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!!!"
P.S. I'm black, so I get license for that. :)
I collapsed on my bed that morning, feeling so happy and peaceful. So content and free. Though in some hours I would be rushing around for prom, and though I had also been told that from now on I'd have to work very hard because things would get darker and tougher around me...I could rest now. For the first time in years, I could sleep well. I was safe in a warm embrace, the embrace of my Savior.
The following lyric by Coldplay really illustrates the feeling I had at the time. Listening to the song will really give you a sense of the mood and feeling I had as well.
"Daylight"
To my surprise, and my delight
I saw sunrise, I saw sunlight
I am nothing in the dark
And the clouds burst to show daylight.
Ooh, and the sun will shine
Yeah, on this heart of mine
Ooh, and I realize
Who cannot live without
Ooh, come apart without it.
On a hilltop, on a skyrise
Like a firstborn child
On a full day, and a full flight,
Defeat darkness—breaking daylight.
Ooh, and the sun will shine
Yeah, on this heart of mine
Ooh, and I realize
Who cannot live without
Ooh, come apart without
Daylight.
Slowly breaking through the daylight,
Slowly breaking through the daylight...
So...when did I become born of God? In my next post, I’ll tell of the night that changed my life—and the infinite mercies of God.
While I was in the room, I decided to start praying. I gave one of the hardest prayers I’ve ever prayed. I told my Heavenly Father that all I wanted, with all my heart, was to become sanctified/born again, receive a mighty change/a baptism of fire/the gift of the Holy Ghost. I told Him that if He would but show me the way, and tell me how to do it, then I’d do it. I’d walk through fire if it was necessary. I would give anything—even myself. My sins, my life…anything.
Now, it’s basic gospel in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that God speaks to men on the earth today. There is a true prophet of God who receives revelation on behalf of the church. But every child of God is entitled to receive personal revelation from God as well. All they have to do is knock. He answers His children and reveals light unto them in their own way of learning and their own understanding.
Heavenly Father—in His infinite love and patience—knows that I am a slow learner, and sometimes require visual aids. My forms of personal revelation are dreams, physical symbols/signs, and (most frequently) a whisper. A whisper that is as clear-sounding and deep-resonating as a bell. Usually it’s a whispered voice accompanied by either a dream or a sign.
For this particular revelation, God gave me instruction: first as a whisper, then as a symbol (which He prepared in the heavens beforehand, since He knew how I would take it). As I was asking Him to please reveal to me what I should do in order to have my desire granted, I heard a voice (which I’ve become accustomed to hearing) say, “Go to the temple. Offer up unto me a sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit in the temple.”
As I said before, I’m a little slow. So I didn’t really get this at first, blunt and simple as it was. I thought that it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Because I knew that in order to go to a temple, you’ve got to be pure—clean hands and a pure heart. At this time period, I was still very much an angel of the dark and a creature of the night. My hands were filthy.
I got up and wandered the room, the impression still coming. ”Offer up a sacrifice…in the temple…” It was so strong, and I didn’t believe it was really a revelation. (I guess that looking back on it now I realize I might have thought that to become worthy to go to a temple was impossible for someone as lowly as me. I was doubtful, lazy, and afraid. But God knew that already…)
I wandered to the window and casually gazed out the window. But quickly I realized what was going on, and I couldn’t believe it. I testify to the reader that this is not exaggerated, but real—almost too incredible to be false.
Orem City rests under the shadow of a rather large mountain, called Mount Timpanogos. At this time, Timpanogos was surrounded on it’s sides by some clouds, but otherwise the sky was remotely clear.
There was a cloud approaching the face of the mount. (Again, no exaggeration…I should have taken a picture, I swear…) The cloud was shaped exactly like a kneeling human figure. The human’s arms were raised above its head, and the head bowed reverently and humbly. The closer I looked, the more I realized that the lumpish cloud the human figure was holding towards Mount Timpanogos…was a heart.
A renewed burst of spiritual flow came with the assurance that this was a real revelation and personal instruction: Go to the temple and offer up a sacrifice…go to the temple…a sacrifice…go to the temple….
Almost as if the symbolic message I had recieved was the cloud figure’s sole purpose and fate, the figure promptly dismantled into a mesh of cloud that overtook Timpanogos. And I knew without a doubt, that this was my task and quest. My commandment from God was to go to His holy temple.
And He had even told me which one: there’s a temple in Spanish Fork—the Mount Timpanogos Temple. While there is a temple in Orem’s next door neighbor, Provo, the Mount Timpanogos Temple was my personal favorite. And…little did I know…that temple would be the best one for certain events to transpire.
Well, between September 2004 and April 2005 was the hardest battle I had ever fought. And I proclaim with love for my Heavenly Father that I have conquered in Him and His Son, Jesus Christ. Because of His grace and mercy, he “hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning. (Book of Mormon)” More will detail this time period in a later post.
On April 30th, I entered a temple of the Lord—in a mountain—to offer up a sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. It was in the House of God that the Spirit revealed to my heart that I had received a remission of my sins. It was there also that I received the impression that I had already received that which I sought—the gift of the Holy Ghost.
I went home overcome with gratitude, and overcome with this immense feeling of freedom, security, and absolute peace. That was my favorite feeling of all: peace. I hadn't felt so free in all my life, or so much peace. Indeed, after ten years or so of darkness and bondage, I was rescued and now free, brought into light. I praised loudly in my heart, "Free at last! Free at last!! Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!!!"
P.S. I'm black, so I get license for that. :)
I collapsed on my bed that morning, feeling so happy and peaceful. So content and free. Though in some hours I would be rushing around for prom, and though I had also been told that from now on I'd have to work very hard because things would get darker and tougher around me...I could rest now. For the first time in years, I could sleep well. I was safe in a warm embrace, the embrace of my Savior.
The following lyric by Coldplay really illustrates the feeling I had at the time. Listening to the song will really give you a sense of the mood and feeling I had as well.
"Daylight"
To my surprise, and my delight
I saw sunrise, I saw sunlight
I am nothing in the dark
And the clouds burst to show daylight.
Ooh, and the sun will shine
Yeah, on this heart of mine
Ooh, and I realize
Who cannot live without
Ooh, come apart without it.
On a hilltop, on a skyrise
Like a firstborn child
On a full day, and a full flight,
Defeat darkness—breaking daylight.
Ooh, and the sun will shine
Yeah, on this heart of mine
Ooh, and I realize
Who cannot live without
Ooh, come apart without
Daylight.
Slowly breaking through the daylight,
Slowly breaking through the daylight...
So...when did I become born of God? In my next post, I’ll tell of the night that changed my life—and the infinite mercies of God.
posted by Alexander at 10:55 PM
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